When Someone You Love is Depressed
- The process of admitting the truth:
Admitting to one’s self that they are mentally struggling can be very tricky to their own brain, their surroundings and the idea could be very threatening to their own future. Unfortunately, the phase of admitting one’s own feelings could even become more complicated due to social constraints and identifying certain stigmas of the world around them as “taboos”. Not only does the Middle Eastern culture forces certain behaviors on numerous countries, yet it also provides no scientific evidence to their statements and allows major life decisions to be placed on personal beliefs and emotions. As a result, this allows many children to be victims of their parent’s traditions and their previous upbringing that prevented them from acknowledging their mental struggles and admitting their relevance to our day to day lives. I have come across several people who struggled with depression and came out to their parents in tragic ways that were always in terms of “fights”, “judgements” and continuous misunderstandings between all parties.
- Seeking professional help:
If a depressed person has enough courage to reach this phase, it would be the start of a more complicated span of their lives. In that regard, there is no definite proof that their first therapist is the one they will feel comfortable with. In fact, it has been statistically proven that it takes multiple trials and experimenting with different therapists to finally find the one you personally click with. In that regard, it could take years for someone as reluctant as someone struggling with depression to take the step several times until they find a comfort zone.
- When Someone You Love is Depressed:
If someone has a friend who struggles with depression, it is believed that they will continue treating their loved ones normally without asking for professional assistance in that issue. As a result, they are more likely to experience counter mental illnesses due to them not taking the issue professionally and finding more “guaranteed” ways to deal with their partners. In fact, being in regular contact with someone feeling depressed could lead to their partners complaining from extreme anxiety and unwillingness to spend time with them in the future. Furthermore, marriages with a depressed spouse makes their partners nine times more likely to get divorced than an average span of a relationship. Due to their constant tendency to stay alienated and away from their loved ones, a depressed person would always be the main delay of their own recovery since close relationships are the main source of communication that they need most in their healing process.
- Prioritizing Them Over Yourself, Always:
In a recent interview done with a husband, the interviewer asked the man how his depressed wife affects his overall wellbeing. Ironically, the man did not feel very comfortable answering the question claiming that his main objective was to always make sure she feels better. Having a close relationship with a person who is depressed can be very mentally consuming on its own, let alone the idea of taking care of yourself prior to that. “Givers” specifically have been identified as the people who are highly prone to become regularly affected by their partners. Additionally, their struggles could extend when they’re away from their partners and impact their performance on a professional level. It has been explained by several researchers that a receiver always complains from “grief”, being constantly “angry” and sorry for themselves. This is regularly due to the idea of them envisioning the case as a “dead end” which constantly leaves them feeling hopeless despite their continuous attempts to uplift their partner’s mood. Another reason that makes them feel devastated is the long term journey that a depressed person is meant to go through in order to recover completely, if ever. In fact, it has been proven that a depressed person’s best recovery case scenario ,if they are properly receiving therapy and taking their medication, would be six months. As a result, this leaves endless questions to their partners on when a normal person suffering from depression will finally find their way back to their normal lives.
- The Cycle of Emotions Towards the Illness:
In the beginning, dealing with someone who is depressed at first hand could leave the receiver confused and constantly comparing the change in their attitude to who they were more acquainted with. As the depression progresses, this makes their partners feel lonelier and less enthusiastic to bring them back to who they used to be. On a more permanent basis, partners state that they feel numerous emotions towards their loved ones that could change from one moment to the next. In that regard, the fast paced reactions are usually a cycle that starts from anger and ends with feeling sorry towards their partners knowing that they have no control over it. Being in contact with a depressed person on a long run also leaves their partner “helpless” because they are likely to expect what will happen next week which is pretty similar to how their life has been like since the beginning of the illness.
- A New Future Ahead:
Based on personal experience, you are never for what the future holds towards this illness. People are likely to believe that a person who is mentally struggling will always keep it to themselves and if they truly struggle, it will always stay with them. Ironically, neither the depressed person nor their loved ones are in control of their destiny that would negatively get impacted as a result of the illness. This could lead to serious delay in academic performance, career dropouts and uninterest in attending social events in the long run. A person who is feeling depressed may not feel a sense of control or responsibility as they used to towards their family. This might leave their partners dealing with serious financial consequences and failed expectations of the caregiver to take an immediate action.
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